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Israel Cantor
Family Society
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A
Few Words About Millie Like
all of us here, I grew up hearing jokes about mothers-in-law. The mother-in-law,
especially the Jewish kind, is supposed to make life miserable for whoever
marries her precious son. Well,
when I got married and acquired a Jewish mother-in-law, it was my great fortune
for it to be Millie. I do have to say that in one of my very first experiences
with her, I got a taste of her often, but not always, endearing
“tell-it-like-it-is” style. At the time I was an editor for a newsletter
that covered the international oil industry. She quizzed me for several minutes
to find out exactly I did there, and after she’d heard what she needed to hear
in order to come to a conclusion about the whole thing, she opined: “That must
be dull as dishwater.” But it was all roses after that. (P.S. – I left that
job a year later, and changed careers, and yes, it was dull as dishwater.) She
was a dream mother-in-law. Always helpful, nurturing, respectful, and most of
all, loving. She knew she had raised sensible children and that those sensible
children had the good judgment to pick sensible spouses. She showed all of us
nothing but support, trust, and love. While
I, of course, have many, many memories of Millie accumulated over the years,
some stand out. One in particular was when I was in my first trimester pregnant
with Ethan. I felt nauseated all the time, and food preparation was a
challenge--yet I so needed to eat to settle my stomach. Food preparation was not
Phil’s forte, at that time. Well, one day Millie came over, and made me a
nice, bland, delicious, nutritious chicken sandwich, and I remember feeling so
well taken care of and so glad that she was there. I
also remember so well how wonderful she was with my boys, especially when they
were little and at a stage in which the details of life that adults take for
granted are so fascinating. Millie seemed to really “get” that fascination
and knew just how to feed it. She would let them mix things, wash things in her
sink, take apart things, pour things into other things. She would cook with
them, sew with them, knit with them. It was called Millie
was a force and a personality to be reckoned with. She was the most organized
person I’ve ever known. She didn’t suffer fools gladly, and she often said
she enjoyed her own company. She was a woman who knew what she liked and what
she wanted. Suffice it to say that restaurant owners quaked in their boots when
they saw her coming. She
was also competent and knowledgeable about all kinds of things. I anticipate
that as life unfolds from here forth, many “Let’s ask Millie” moments will
arise that will make us feel her loss all over again. Such as when we want to
know how to get a stain out of something, or especially if we wonder if some
famous person might be half Jewish. I
recently came across this quote from Winston Churchill and it made me think of
Millie: “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the
great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” I would imagine her somewhere
in heaven right now telling the celestial chef that the food is just a little
too salty or needs extra vinegar. Yes, Millie always wanted things just so, and
wasn’t shy about identifying and then taking action to do whatever things big
or small needed to be done. In her
life, she was surrounded by things that she created and people she nurtured. She
lived life fully and went out tasting caviar surrounded by her loved ones. My
hat is off to her and I will never forget her. And I’m so glad that her genes
live in my children. |
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